Another blogger asked me to write this. After a misunderstood blog post title apeared that they posted. With all the noise about vaccines and Autism in children, a very serious matter is being overlooked. Very high suicide rates in adults on the spectrum. I know because I’m an attempt survivor. If it weren’t for my cat I might not be here. She is the reason I walked to the hospital after my attempt. I still think about it. With what is going on…the landlord threatening to take my cat away, getting almost no money from my payee, feeling like nobody cares, my family, my “caregiver” being manipulative and unhelpful. And feeling that a health condition is being ignored by doctors-and everyone else-because I’m handicapped make my depression worse. Get the feeling people would be happy if I wasn’t here. All too often those of us on the spectrum feel isolated from the community around us that either stigmatizes us or sees us something that needs to be treated and “fixed.” They stop seeing us as people and instead we are viewed as a dsorder or desease in need of treatment. Adults on the spectrum are ten times more likely to take their own lives. and it seems nobody wants to hear it. It’s like…we are not cute little kids so please disapear. Millions of dollars are being poured into “research” and “cures” and they have turned their backs on us. Our screams for help and assistance are drowned out by vaccines vaccines vaccines and what they do or do not treat cause or cure. NT’s are blinded by blue lights and puzzle pieces. Older Autistics find it harder and harder to participate in social events and places like clubs and shopping malls where we not only deal with sensory challenges but stigma from those around us. Maybe I shouldn’t say this but sometimes it feels like Autistics are the most hated people on earth. Physical limitations such as transportation and finances cause further difficulties. I live in a very small town where there is almost nothing to do. Even going to a movie means a forty five to sixty minute bus ride each way. I feel resented everwhere I go. Also in the apartment complex where I live. Communication problems can contribute to the feeling of being alone. I can’t describe how Isolated and worthless I feel sometimes. I can only speak for myself with this but, often feel like I stick out, ugly, worhless, old, not as good as everyone else in my secondhand clothes. As if I stand out and everyone is staring at me. We don’t need anymore studies. We don’t need any more blue lights. We don’t need any more “awareness.” God in His Heaven knows we don’t. We don’t need anymore feeling unsafe from a world that continues to murder us. We don’t need any more ABA and electric shock. We need to be listened to and cared about. I can’t express the importance of that last sentence strongly enough. Ninety eight percent of everything you hear regarding Autism is about kids. As adults we suffer alone. We need to reach out and help each other. Quit yelling about Autism speaks and going red instead. Our brothers and sisters on the spectrum are dying!!!!! We need to create places like drop in centers where we can socialize with each other. Together we can do it. I feel like my health condition is literally killing me. As if instead of starving me to death as happens so much to people today…I already have a possiblly fatal condition so they will just stand by and watch me die. That is a huge contributor to my depression. And when I try to tell someone about it and they just get on my case and won’t listen. Or they just make excuses for those around me who screw things up. Who are supposed to be helping me. Isolating me further. There are no services here. Just Autism speaks in a distant town. Wich is worse than nothing. When what we say is ignored by those who only want to hear from so-called “experts” who don’t know anything. Articles that mention cases where Autistics are observed in study groups that tell nothing about what we actully go through. The only place to turn when feeling suicidal, at least here, is a mental institution where “doctors” are only interested in putting as many as possible on pschycotropic drugs that don’t help and only make things worse. They have no therapy no counseling just movng as many patients through their doors as quickly as possible to make the most money. I can’t talk to my therapist about my depression because of where I will end up. Social media helps but cannot take the place of face to face interaction. Faith in God helps. He will not abandon or forsake you. He loves you handicapped or not. Stimming makes a difference too. Why am I here? If you think you should have been aborted you are wrong! God put you here! You are precious in Hit sight. The Scripture says for God so loved the world that He gave His only begotton Son… Nothing there that says accept for the disabled Your not left out! I hope this is what the blogger wanted. Here is a link that might be helpful.