Autism: How Depression Feels

autismalifetimeundiagnosed

The day is dark, but I doubt even sun would make a difference today. I am tired. Tired of lying on the couch. Tired of watching Netflix over and over. Tired of reading about things, or dreaming of things, that I wouldn’t have the energy to work on if I tried. Just tired.

Years ago, when my son was a baby, my mother told me that she was tired. Too tired to want to live forever. Discouraged. Disconnected. Exhausted. What is life if you can’t bring yourself to move. Though I was exhausted, too, I took a different view of it. Feeling like it would take an eternity to learn to live well, that is what I was pleading for. Eternity.

Twenty years later, she has a life – taking care of my brother’s family. While she is exhausted still, she has much to live for. It is me who…

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