Autism: So Very Tired

autismalifetimeundiagnosed

I am sitting in my chair, listening to the trucks across the street moving soil in the neighbour’s yard, and hammering down the road where the trusses are being put on a new house being built. I know that outside it is sunny and warm, and I feel envious of people who have the energy to get things done.

As for me, I can barely keep my eyes open to write this post. How is it that some people have so much energy? Often I wish that I did. But then I wonder… would having more energy allow me to get more things done, or would that energy feed my anxiety, and cause me to be paralyzed by fear?

Somehow I think it would be more of the latter. The anxiety brings me to a place of utter exhaustion on a frequent basis – but then, that very exhaustion leaves…

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