Jeff Foxworthy: you might be from West Virginia if…

Jeff Foxworthy‘s commentary on West Virginia:

If you’re proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights
each year because Elkins is the coldest spot in the nation, you might
live in West Virginia .

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you
might live in West Virginia .

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the
year, you might live in West Virginia .

If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don’t work
there, you might live in West Virginia cause you’re all so damn
friendly.

If your dad’s suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his
forehead, cause he wears a hardhat you might live in West Virginia
.
If you have worn shorts, sunglasses and a parka at the same time, you
might live in West Virginia .

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, or if you are
in church and your priest or minister asks you to p ray for the
MOUNTAINEERS, and wants to get you all home for 1 p.m. kickoff, you
might live in West Virginia ..

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who
dialed a wrong number, you might live in West Virginia .

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE West Virginian WHEN:

1. ‘Vacation’ means going up north past I-64 for the weekend.

2. You measure distance in hours.

3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.

4. You often switch from ‘Heat’ to ‘A/C’ in the same day and back
again.

5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging
blizzard, without flinching.

6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including
weddings).

7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave
all the doors unlocked.

8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how
to use them.

9. You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled
with snow.

11. You know all 4 seasons: almost fall, winter, still winter and
road construction.

12. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.

13. Your idea of creative landscaping is a concrete statue of a deer
next to your blue spruce.

14. You were unaware that there i s a legal drinking age.

15. Down South to you means CHARLESTON , WV .

17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his NEW FORD F150.

18. You go out to a fish fry every Friday and bingo every Wednesday.

19. YOUR 4TH OF JULY PICNIC WAS MOVED INDOORS DUE TO FROST.

20. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

21. You find 0 degrees ‘a little chilly.’

22. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all
our West Virginia friends.

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