I finally woke up to the truth.

A few days ago I stopped all contact with someone I had thought was a “friend.” But turned out to be anything but. I am a member-for now-of a crafting wensite with a forum. Most of the members have known each other for years. Anyway,  this woman, I’ll call her Ruby, has an Autistic grandchild so we started emailing each other. At first I thought this person was my friend. We shared some interests, including tennis player Rafa Nadal, and I was glad to have someone to talk to. But then she told me she would have no problem with handicapped people put to death. Murdered. Knowing I’m Autistic. I began to realize Ruby was making excuses for and defending everyone from the people who were supposed to be working with me but screwed up to vaccine pushers-will not get into the debate-to family members to my landlord and the general manager of the apartment complex where I live who were hurtful. Family members. To people in the news. Anyone who disagreed with or challenged her delusional opinions of me the world or anyone in it. If I wrote a post in this blog, too many times I didn’t know what I was talking about and was told how it was supposed to be written.  If I told her someone had hurt me either mentally emotionally or physically, I was painfully condemned mocked stigmatised and belittled. This did not happen all the time but often enough. Most of the time. If I tried to explain about ableism or the trouble with group homes, I was instantly put down again. If I mentioned drugging in sports, once again insulted. She even put down my precious cat!! I finally realized the truth when an extremely hurtful email came recently. I saw that I was being used, degraded, and manipulated. Ruby had a narcissistic atitude about everybody. The more someone hurt me the more strongly they were defended. Even had the usual NT atitudes about my Asperger’s. When I tried to educate her about life on the Spectrum she heartlessly insisted that only the “experts” knew anything about Autism. After years of this abuse I finally blocked her email address after reading some helpful posts on Autistic Hoya’s blog about ableism. I feel better. Not so much depression and self loathing. Although for the most part I have no other person to talk to. I read some descriptions of narsissists and they fit Ruby. I no longer have her emails-sometimes three or four-to put up with every day. Hopefully I won’t ecounter her on the crafting website. Am planning to go see the movie Sully tomarrow. Will have my cat Shania to talk to when I get back. She’s a real friend. Ruby isn’t.

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